Imagine being asked this question many years into the future. How could you answer it in a way that had you feel truly proud of the life that you had lived?

For many of us we wish that our lives were more. We wish that we could be happier, be more fulfilled, be more confident, take more risks, have more fun, live closer to the edge, eat more ice cream and dance in public with carefree abandon. For many of us we know that we could do all of this if we could only interrupt the daily habit of our lives and create the time, the energy and a real belief in the possibilities that already exist in our lives.

So why don’t we spend more time living the lives we feel we were born to lead?

There is something that happens to us as we get older, something that can often reduce the risks that we are willing to take in our life. I think that this something is often tied into our own sense of self belief. Our self image created by what we have done in the past, by what has happened to us that feeds a smaller, less potent version of who we really are. It encourages us to tolerate the areas of our lives that are really unacceptable to our true selves. It insists that we put up with our jobs, our relationships and our small or non existent sense of purpose – because you know what, it’s safe, and safe is linked with comfortable.

I meet many people in the course of my work who tell me that their life isn’t the one they would have chosen but it’s good enough, it’s ok. They’re not that happy, fulfilled or purposeful, but they’re not miserable either. They’ll often talk about the responsibilities they have to meet and they list them with a sense of immovable stuckness – mortgage, credit card payments, school fees, car repayments, career. They’ll often say to me “It could be a lot worse.” I agree, it could. It could also be a lot more extraordinary.

What are you tolerating in your life right now, today?

What would you be doing today if your life was extraordinary?

These are questions that we don’t always find it easy to answer, in fact these questions can often make us quite angry. They’re the sort of questions that interrupt our daily routine and have us sit back and think.

For years I tolerated my own lack of self belief. I felt that I was a victim to life’s events and that I was probably powerless to affect much of what went on around me. This belief was given to me in my childhood and then I spent much of my time as young adult confirming that it was true.

As I started to see what I was tolerating in my life due to this belief I became very angry. Angry with me, angry with others and angry with the world in general. I had created a life for myself that was as safe as possible and designed to have me hurt as little as possible. Ironically as I looked at this little box I had designed for myself I could see how unhappy it was making me. Yes I was safe but I wasn’t fulfilled. My desire for safety had put me into a mediocre job, a series of relationships that never went anywhere and a social life that was filled with a lot of meaningless activity that distracted me from the reality.

What I have discovered over the years is that there is another way of approaching life. One that isn’t focused on safety and just making it through to the end. It’s a way of being truly alive to the possibilities in your life and living the dreams that we all still have. It’s called being extraordinary.